Why Attraction Is Only Part of the Story

chuckles

So I was thinking about this idea of physical attraction, right? Like, you see someone and immediately your brain goes, okay, wow, yeah. But then... then they open their mouth.

Speaker 1

Yeah, the, the moment the reality kicks in. It is like, it is like a math problem almost. Physical attraction is really only... it is just one quarter of the whole picture. Just twenty five percent.

chuckles

Twenty five percent. Exactly. So what are the other three quarters then? What makes up the rest of the hundred yards?

Speaker 1

Well, you got, uh, whether you actually have anything in common, right? Shared interests. Then do you socially bond? And, and maybe the biggest one, how do they treat you? Like, if someone treats you like garbage or... or calls you names, it completely kills the spark. It is a total social turn off.

chuckles

Man, like back in school when people would drop nicknames. Like getting called Screech by guys like Tanner or Jason. You might look at someone and think, okay, they are cute or whatever, but the second they mock you, it just... boom. Extinguished.

Speaker 1

Right, right. It just, it just do not work, you know? And I think... well, I think back to going to school, like, stuck in Manson or Rockwell City from fourth grade all the way through twelfth grade. When you are stuck in an environment where people got used to making fun of your hygiene or laughing at you... you do not have a social bond there. They are not your friends.

chuckles

And when you are hiding things on top of that, like suppressing who you are attracted to... man, that suppression just eats you up inside. You exhaust yourself trying so hard to get it right with people who are basically just bullying you.

Speaker 1

Yes! You, you try so hard to get it right when... I mean, you are exhausting your mind over stuff that is just fantasy or daydreams at that point. You are trying to force a connection with a situation that only brings hurt.

chuckles

Which is wild, because sometimes leaving it as a daydream is actually... it is like a survival tactic, right? Like protective armor.

Speaker 1

It really is. It is keep, keeping it at a fantasy because if you actually try to socially interact with someone who hurt your feelings in the past, they are just gonna do it again. They do not learn. So keeping it in your head protects you from getting your trust broken all over again.

chuckles

Compare that to a real bond, though. Like... like what Ryan had with Sadie, where people actually confide in each other. That is healthy. That is mutual. It is not just eye candy with a side of cruelty.

Speaker 1

Exactly. Pure physical attraction can be so misleading because it makes you want to be around someone just because they are good looking. But emotional hurt is just as powerful as physical attraction. If there is no trust, if there is no real understanding... you are never gonna get the full hundred yards in life with that person.

chuckles

And maybe accepting that... accepting that you do not always get all four quarters with everyone... maybe that is how you stop being bitter. You just let the fantasy be a fantasy and walk away from the monsters.

Speaker 1

Yeah. You realize the story does not have to break you. Alright, good chatting with you.